Gifts & Curses

2007-11-24T22:33:00.000+08:00

blog moved to here!

2007-11-17T22:35:00.000+08:00

Serenity is to walk when others are running,
To whisper when others are shouting,
To sleep when others are restless,
To smile when others are frowning,
To be calm when others are angry,
And to pray when others are worrying.

“You cannot plough a field by turning it over in your mind."
No more eye power or plain thinking, I need to get about doing things. So many things. Zzz.

2007-11-13T20:01:00.000+08:00

I ran out of time today. I asked God whether he had time to spare for me. He said I have plenty of time, but chose to use them sparingly. But how can I use my time sparingly yet run out of it? There must be some way.

Time not used is wasted.

2007-11-09T22:15:00.000+08:00

Recently I read on newspaper that overfishing is causing a lot of problem in the South East Asian Seas and is potentially threatening the livelihood of millions of fishermen and their families. Tensions between nations over illegal fishing in another country's boundaries may also arise! Worse still, the sources of fish may deplete in as soon as 10 years time!

So now I'm taking up a new cause. For this cause, I will stop eating Ikan Bilis. These fishes are so tiny and young that before they even have the chance to mate, they die in our mouths. Fully grown ikan bilises can reach 23 cm! Wow. :S

Save the world. Save the ikan bilises!

2007-11-07T22:25:00.000+08:00

雄蝉每天唱个不停，是为了引诱雌蝉来交配的，雄蝉的叫声，雌蝉听来像一首美妙的乐曲，在交配受精后，雌蝉，就用像剑一样的产卵管在树枝上刺成一排小孔，把卵产在小孔里，几周之后雄蝉和雌蝉就死了。

由此可见 life is so short! From our perspective a bug's life is as long as this A levels will last. From God's perspective, our life is just a full stop in his diary (If He keeps one!). Now I feel the urgency - to fill up the gaps in my life and make sure I live one that I'll never regret.

The Difference

2007-11-06T20:24:00.000+08:00

I got up early one morning

And rushed right into the day:

I had so much to accomplish

That I didn’t have time to pray.

Problems just tumbled about me

And heavier came each task.

“Why doesn’t God help me?”

I wondered.

He answered, “You didn’t ask.”

I wanted to see joy and beauty.

But the day toiled on,

grey and bleak:

I wondered why God didn’t show me.

He said, “But you didn’t seek.”

I tried to come into God’s presence:

I used all my keys at the lock.

God gently and lovingly chided,

“My child, you didn’t knock.”

I woke up early this morning

and paused

before entering the day:

I had so much to accomplish

That I had to take time to

PRAY.

2007-10-20T22:27:00.000+08:00

As I thought deeper, I was suddenly reminded of the times when I was feeling on top of the world, or simply happy, God has always been there rejoicing with me too. Even during the times when I've yet to know him, he has already known me. I bet he was grinning when I was performing on stage for the first time, feeling shy about approaching a girl I liked, or simply anxious for me when I'm not following the path he has laid before me. All these minor details of my life matters to him. Just like how a mother would love her child, God loved me all these years and will continue to for the rest of time. This unconditional love, is what I call blissfulness! I'm feeling blessed ;)

2007-10-10T23:19:00.000+08:00

Maybe I hardly say this, but I really love 06S6E and every single one of you. Even though I know I haven't been doing very much, and I always want to avoid trouble and all those stupid complications, I really feel touched. Yep. You guys rocked!

Maybe if that is what God wants to say, to come to him when I'm all alone and in solitude, knowing that he alone is enough. Then I will gladly do it.

2007-10-06T23:28:00.000+08:00

Let your love be strong, and I don't care what goes down
Let your love be strong enough to weather through the thunder cloud
Fury and thunder clap like stealing the fire from your eyes
All of my world hanging on your love

2007-10-02T23:37:00.000+08:00

How amazing! I learnt that to earn your well-deserved grades you need to study effectively, not blindly! I had an apprehensive feeling about the upcoming A's, but after a relaxing time spent with a bunch of heavenly friends, the feeling just goes away! Amazing. Awesome. Felicitous! All these despite knowing that I have to take SAT II 1 day after Maths paper 1, 3 days after GP, 4 days after computing paper 1 and physics paper 3. That's on top of my new commitments, which I really treasure and value. It's not a mess I've gotten myself into. It's living my life to the edge.

2007-09-30T17:45:00.000+08:00

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

2007-09-26T20:37:00.000+08:00

Just salvaging some interesting photos from my phone.. Enjoy haha!

Last but not least, Mother Theresa says cheese with my new Specs! She looks cool with it haha..

2007-09-23T00:23:00.001+08:00

Ignorance is a bliss. It really is considering the fact that the more you know, the more you're gonna think about it, the more headache you'll get. But it also means that you'll take up more responsibilities, take more initiatives, be more receptive to other people's needs. I think what I've been trying to shut out of my life has been returning in unavoidable ways. Better to know and do something about it than to pretend it was never there.

2007-09-20T18:17:00.000+08:00

Was indulging in a tub of Black Forest from Iceland Creamery with Alex yesterday haha..super sinful! It came with alcohol but thank God its not so strong! We were craving for ice cream after a long afternoon of tennis and failed workout (Not me hahaha!).

Watched "Premonition" today and I came to realise that I seldom remember my dreams, and when I do remember I'll forget the details. I do remember nightmares though. There was one a night my family was holidaying in America (when I was K2) when I suddenly dreamed of how I was walking through this dark tunnel and there were tomb stones all around me! Typical nightmare haha. Some people I know appeared like monsters in my nightmares before =P. I guess the movie makes you think how you will react to something you have no control over, that is to accept it as it is or to try as much as possible to prevent it from happening. If you let something go the way it is, are you just couldn't be bothered or is it the same as giving up?

Travelled here and there just to find a nice place to practise, from Istana park to Fort Canning. But I'm glad we are all so flexible haha! All the best tmr!

"Worship God cannot do at home meh??" Here's my response to people who ask me why.

Psalm 84 says:
"Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young - a place near your altar"

2007-09-14T21:20:00.001+08:00

Ahh! My day ended on a good note! At least those 6 hours of sitting and squirming of bare knowledge from my head were worth the while. I can't pretend that I won't get A for computing haha but who knows I feel less confident than before. I still haven't learn from my mistake of not studying for computing because whatever we study won't come out, and whatever that's there is crappable.

I only arrived 1 hr before games at MIND CAFE ended but then, I don't mind paying 5 bucks for a game and the company which make me so much more relaxed! My head was cringing all along the bus ride.

Happy birthday Junhua! Fellow dogmatix GI ;)

Meanwhile I'm eagerly waiting for tomorrow to come. Anniversary and MAF! Can't wait to know what the past year has been for us. Can't wait to see what the juniors have in stall for us, and what we have in stall for the juniors! =P

I'm getting fat. I just broke the leg of my chair.

2007-09-09T20:33:00.001+08:00

Rearrange me.

2007-09-03T23:34:00.000+08:00

Facebook is irritatingly fun. Bites people, turns them into zombie, send someone a flower, hadoken them. I haven't got such a great inspiration for a web application for a long long time. (recalls my nerdy days). The inventor is creative! As creative as you-know-who.

I've been in and out of mugging mode for the past few days and sometimes I wonder if I stop, what might happen to me. My guess is that I will be insecure, worried that I may flung or do below average. But expectation is about predicting what is to come. How can I predict what I do not know? I don't want to live up to anyone's expectations but Yours.

Tomorrow's a different day!

2007-08-30T23:05:00.000+08:00

You walked me through the darkest valley.
You saw me through the brightest day.
Even though I may fall, you'll catch me with your grace.

2007-08-26T22:37:00.000+08:00

I have only one-liners to sum up the whole day.

Tennis is fun but tiring. I haven't been improving!

National library is so crowded on Sundays.

Tissue prata is exotically, crispily and chocolatily delicious to eat. Mini mountain!

Free ridership should be part of a clause in the international declaration of rights of man and human.

Some times you know so much about each other that you both have very little to talk about.

Check out the "Sheperd" art gallery outside Tangs!

What is faith to you?

To look past the present, knowing that all things are transient except the one thing that is constant.

Think out of the boat!

2007-08-17T21:18:00.000+08:00

Busyness drives me crazy, gives me headache.
Anxiety makes me boil, turns me red.
Insecurity snatches away my hope, gives me doubt.
Mugging is so boring, makes me pout.
Weariness pulls me like gravity, pushes me to my limit.
Why arh why arh why arh, why I miss my exam kit.
My legs are giving way, my fingers are weak,
my vision is blurred, the words are so hard to speak
they get twisted by my tongue.
Sian..so sian..

(Attempts to create a poem failed, so hard to make the ending words rhyme haha.)

2007-08-09T19:31:00.000+08:00

I found this to be highly illustrative of my life right now:

To sinful patterns of behavior that never get confronted and changed,
Abilities and gifts that never get cultivated and deployed-
Until weeks become months
And months turn into years,
And one day you're looking back on a life of
Deep intimate gut-wrenchingly honest conversations you never had;
Great bold prayers you never prayed,
Exhilarating risks you never took,
Sacrificial gifts you never offered
Lives you never touched,
And you're sitting in a recliner with a shriveled soul,
And forgotten dreams,
And you realize there was a world of desperate need,
And a great God calling you to be part of something bigger than yourself-
You see the person you could have become but did not;
You never followed your calling.
You never got out of the boat.

I must make the effort to take the first step!

2007-08-05T00:45:00.000+08:00

Compared to the walk Jesus took up the hill to the cross, my walk thus far is nothing more than a gentle upslope, with an occasional misstep, but definitely rewarding. Thanks to the amazing grace from above, my life is as fulfilling as ever! No words can describe how it feels to be a child of God, you gotta experience it yourself! =)

FOP ended great as usual, though we've got a few men down, nothing beats feasting on the music, the atmosphere, and the presence of God. Guys we still need to go down for Operation Bear so we can't afford to be down now! lol. The art of chopping seats has risen to the level of a shinobi, where we practically need to kage bunshin to keep the ushers from nagging. But that leaves us with very little chakra left. It probably explains why we've got a few men down!

Prelims are coming, A' levels are coming. zzzzzzz.

I've always been on the receiving end, I must strive to be on the giving end!

And to focus on the giver more than the gifts.

5/8/06

2007-07-28T21:17:00.000+08:00

God is patient, God is kind. He does not envy, He does not boast, He is not proud. He is not rude, He is not self-seeking, He is not easily angered, He keeps no record of wrongs. God does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. He always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

2007-07-26T21:58:00.000+08:00

I got my hands on an iPhone yesterday night! (Sees people turning green with envy, jealousy, hate) But it was just a sample my Dad brought from US. Heh I think the phone is really, really cool other than the fact that it doesn't look like one, nor does it function effectively as one. But the Wi-fi functions and the one-click youtube access is brilliant. Had google maps so you'll never get lost. There's the usual iPod too. But I guess the coolest feature has to be the multi-touch screen. If you haven't experience anything like that, its really hard to imagine. The colours are nice. I don't fancy the qwerty keyboard 'cause my fat thumb keeps pressing the wrong buttons. Nevertheless I guess it has to be the coolest toy I've gotten my hands on, though I still prefer playing towerbloxx. Just a short review!

2007-07-17T20:33:00.000+08:00

R.I.P Tracy. Too bad I didn't have a camera around to show you how peacefully she died, on this one fine morning. Or maybe yesterday because when I was feeding her and Lujie she's already not responding! Whatever it is, I'm sure she'd spend a good deal of time waddling/stoning and is now swimming in the vast ocean of heaven! I don't wish to tell you how my mum disposed of the corpse -.- But the killer remains at large! Lujie must have snatched away all the food, leaving Tracy to die. Evil Lujie!!

2007-07-16T18:47:00.001+08:00

"Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier."

Mother Theresa

2007-07-13T23:31:00.000+08:00

I love the times spent with sjab, its always so funny to recollect the things we used to do! Those memories of st john life, like our common enemy the fearsome shiahzy, the funny things each and everyone of us do. Though its always someone who has to be the sacrifice =P. Will my term with Ezoac end up like this? If it is I've no worries that all these memories and experiences will ever fade away.

Now that the Sea Chief juniors have given Tracy, Lujie and me 2 terrapins each, that makes 2 pairs of these stupid turtles in my house! Then comes the burden of looking after them..my mum just swore she's never gonna help me do the feeding nor upkeeping. Not that I'm lazy, sometimes I'm just not around the whole day, and I feel for Tracy and Lujie! By the way my 2 terrapins are named after them, so are their terrapins named after the other 2 sea chiefs -.-. I seem to have turtle sense because when Tracy's me is hungry I can sense it.

Thanks Ryan for sharing your testimony with me! Now I'm even more convinced that God is going to work in my life the way He worked in yours.

I felt the adrenaline rush! Somehow the more people say it, the more real it seems.

2007-07-06T22:58:00.000+08:00

You know the best things in life are neither your grades, your achievements, nor the memories you keep or treasure, the name you leave behind for others to remember or the effort you put into serving the community or in some poor African country. You desperately hope for a solution to the world's problems. You put rationality before faith. When these two are disproportioned, that's when even more problems arise.

There is one faith which puts these issues like softcopies in your head, yet the hardcopies are flushed down the toilet bowl. The problems simplify. Trace them back to the root, and you get a solution as simple as an equation.

Yet that is just one part of the equation, you need rationality too. Being rational means being guided by our intellect. But rationality doesn't require finding the answers to every illogical scenario, because you need an equilibrium.

Having faith requires you to take the first step of stepping back on the rationality scale. Faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.

I will constantly remind myself. Find the right mix and you'll set your paths straight!

2007-07-02T23:16:00.000+08:00

Courtesy of Yikhung, dedicated to our dear physics tutor Samuel Tan!

"Don't fail our paper 3"

It's never be easy for us, to find words to describe our favourite physics teacher
But this time there's actually something on our mind,
So please forgive these few brief awkard lines

Since we've met you, our whole lives have changed
we know you and Phillip Thomas, both feel the same
We are currently in J2, but somehow the grades remain (U)
And we haven't felt like this since before you pangseh our class

And while we know, based on our performance
We might not seem like the safest bet
All we're asking you, is don't fail our paper 3

For months, we've been telling ourselves, the same old story
That we're happy to stay at this so called, relaxing pace
But you've given us a reason, to take another chance
Now we need you, despite the fact that you've screwed all our tests

And though we know, we've already blown more chances,
Than anyone should ever get
All we're asking you, is don't fail our paper 3,
Don't fail our paper 3

2007-06-29T22:07:00.000+08:00

Don't Write Me Off

It’s never been easy for me
To find words to go along, with a melody
But this time there’s actually something, on my mind
So please forgive these few brief awkward lines

Since I’ve met you, my whole life has changed
It’s not just my furniture, you’ve rearranged
I was living in the past, but somehow you’ve brought me back
And I haven’t felt like this since before Frankie said relax

And while I know, based on my track record
I might not seem like the safest bet
All I’m asking you, is don’t write me off, just yet

For years I’ve been telling myself, the same old story
That I’m happy to live off my so called, former glories
But you’ve given me a reason, to take another chance
Now I need you, despite the fact, that you’ve killed all my plants

And though I know, I’ve already blown more chances
Than anyone should ever get
All I’m asking you, is don’t write me off, just yet
Don’t write me off just yet

2007-06-28T20:26:00.000+08:00

Why do people cry at funerals, knowing yet that they will be reunited with their lost parents/children/family/friends in heaven? It's then I'm reminded of the song Tears in Heaven by Eric Clapton:

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?
...

Insecurity sets in. Sometimes we wonder why certain people's fate on Earth is so short. But still, we're told at the end of the song that, there's no more tears in heaven! It's really the best that we can hope for. Really.

Let the weak say I'm strong, let the poor say I'm rich!

2007-06-24T10:06:00.000+08:00

I'm blogging this at Macs. My internet has been down for the past 5 days! =(

I really must talk about the encounter at Dhoby Exchange. As usual some of us (me, shaun, sandy, david hoe, fenghui, abi) were studying at the tables for wireless surfing. Since we had been there daily for the past week, I guess there had been complaints that we were using the place for the wrong purpose. A station security officer approached us to inform us about the complaints, but something made it worse. This transvestite from the salon we're studying outside suddenly burst into the picture, scolding us and warning us that if we do not leave immediately she'll write to the management to ban us from ever stepping into this place. Apparently we have been making quite some noise. "I want you to leave NOW! NOW!", so she said -.- "You guys from Hwachong right?" ...... We prepared to pack and leave. David Hoe went to approach her to clarify how she shouldn't had been so rude. So she came back to apologise, saying whatever crap, but the best part was this - "I don't want you guys to ruin the images of your schools! I'm telling you this because I was from Hwachong!" An awkward moment of silence pursued. I'm seriously terribly traumatised!

Anyways I think the past week of mugging has been very fulfilling! Mugged with so many different people. I definitely don't look forward to the best grades, but I think with my current preparation and a little help from above I'll do better than the previous blocks! Please hold me accountable.

I'm not exactly proud of my SAT results, probably gonna take them again after A's. =/

Good luck everyone!

2007-06-20T20:12:00.000+08:00

I hadn't felt so incompetent while holding a guit for a long long time. Maybe my skills are rusty. I haven't been picking up ever since I ended my lessons sometime late last year, but I know that ever since then I've invested my time in so much more meaningful stuff! Somehow I wish the passion will come back though.

"Does not the very nature of things teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace to him, but that if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For long hair is given to her as a covering."
-1 corinthians 11:14-15

Girls one reason to keep long hair! =P

It felt great to talk to people whom may seem far from the group, but you know their hearts are still with God and us =).

TMR is SAT release date people!

2007-06-16T20:42:00.000+08:00

When my heart runs dry
And there's no song to sing
No holy melody
No words of love within
I recall the height from which
This fragile heart has slipped...

2007-06-14T21:43:00.000+08:00

Camp camp camp! Treading along the first frontier, a whole new heart of adventure is opened! Just like each and every time the door card of the game Munchkins is picked and opened, the encounters are always different. Gifts! Curses! Monsters! (hears Robert grunting). I've brought away so much experience from the camp, yet the sustainability of this zeal is still a question. Really hope it has been etched in my mind as something permanent and not just as an experience within my heart.

I've learnt so much from serving and giving. I dare say I'm a changed person! I'm gonna live an impactful life man. CG'08, it will come to past!

I've no idea why you prefer this over something that lasts for eternity. I've made my mistakes before and I don't want you to fall into this trap hole! I can't say I understand fully, but the draw of this is equally powerful on me too. It's the heart of desire. Really. (see the post below)

Block tests are coming. I'll be on Bankai mode for the next 2 weeks. If possible 无我境界 all the way!

2007-06-09T22:28:00.000+08:00

The Journey of Desire, a book so dangerously describes how most of us feel now. We long for life and we're not sure where to find it! We wonder if we ever do find it, can we make it last? In the book it says..

The meaning of our lives is revealed through experiences that at first seem at odds with each other - moments we wish would never end and moments we wish had never begun. Those timeless experiences we want to last forever whisper to us that they were meant to. We were made to live in a world of beauty and wonder, intimacy and adventure all our days. Nathaniel Hawthorne insisted, "Our Creator would never have made such lovely days, and given us the deep hearts to enjoy them, above and beyond all thought, unless we were meant to be immortal."

In this coming camp, I want to challenge myself to drink even deeper into God's well of wisdom, to set aside everything else. During service I was reminded that we are called to be world changers in every way of our lives. The last and most important condition is to be willing to give up everything. But God did not call us to give up all our desires!

Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

psalms 37:4

'What do you want?'

I want a great adventure tomorrow!

2007-06-05T10:14:00.000+08:00

"When darkness turns to light, it ends tonight."

Perhaps my mind isn't ready to register the fact that the last event of our term is over. All the late night preparations for YL, OH, Atlantis, Bike Hike, MAF. All the lingering souls around OAC bench every morning before assembly and after school. All the excitement over the start of our term after YL night last year. When you trace back these events, what you find is not just a reminiscence of the times we had together, but also the spirit that keeps us going even when we have nothing much in common. This is so different from a thousand and one CCAs out there!

Thank you NFS '07 oics Shiuyuen, Eric and Waikuan. Thank you all 32nd OAC instructors. Last but not least, thank you Alex because I was the one who dragged you into all these trouble while you gladly obliged. Without the above people the event wouldn't have been a success =).

Our 32nd oac term is about to end, but our life as Ezoac has just begun. It has only been a year. Although we're no longer into any obligation to organise events, I'm sure the bond still holds, our spirit still survives; I'm secretly anticipating how we'll change 10 years down the road!

2007-06-03T00:52:00.000+08:00

Finding my Mister God...

2007-06-02T23:10:00.000+08:00

paper walls. paper walls. paper walls. paper walls. paper walls. paper walls. paper walls. paper walls. paper walls. paper walls. paper walls. paper walls. paper walls. paper walls. paper walls. paper walls. paper walls. paper walls. paper walls. paper walls. paper walls. paper walls. paper walls. paper walls. paper walls. paper walls. paper walls. paper walls. paper walls. paper walls. paper walls. paper walls. paper walls. paper walls. paper walls. paper walls. paper walls. paper walls. paper walls. paper walls. arghh!! July 17th!

Oh no idolatory. Must repent =p.

Today has been quite eventful! SAT in the morning, service in the afternoon, family gathering at night. I must say all the grandiloquent and high-sounding words used for SAT are getting on my nerves. They are all superfluous! Math is imba difficult. If I get one single mistake, I must really burn my books and eat them.

2007-05-19T21:58:00.000+08:00

My stomach :`-( almost 4 days le! Stupid stomacH!!!

Something about pain and suffering that just popped into my head during service. How are you to judge someone's suffering when you're not going through it yourself? We sometimes act like we understand the pain when we've absolutely no idea what its like. In a genocide, or simply someone innocent who's been murdered. These aren't very glamorous deaths, yet nothing is ever shortchanged. We all contribute to the 'functioning' of the world! There's a perfect world out there waiting for us to discover.

All children go to heaven! Something interesting:

Matthew 19:13

NIV:
Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.

KJV:
But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.

2007-05-13T15:28:00.000+08:00

Atlantis is over =(. When you don't think about it, things just happen so fast. Over the last few weeks we were chionging the souvenirs, getting our hands dirty, testing the clues and going for recees. And everything was over in just 12 hours! I'm glad I've this bunch of batchmates who will stick by each other and endure the torture of the preparations of each event, yet indulge in the moment of nostalgia when they just ended, knowing that our efforts have paid off!

Only one more event to look forward to..

Happy Mother's Day! I've come to realise that its a day I've been taking for granted for a very long time, and the service today made me understand how important it is to express our love for our parents. It's never too late! It's a day for all mums to rejoice, and a day for all kids to celebrate because you have a mum who cares with her blood, tears and sweat =).

2007-05-10T21:53:00.000+08:00

If you're stuck on an island for the rest of your life, and there are 3 things you can bring along, what will you choose?

I will choose - a pen, a notebook, and a Bible.

2007-05-06T00:33:00.000+08:00

Everything yesterday was just so apt. The sermon, the shepherding!, the sharing of testimony, the prayer meet. Everything just summarises into a single point - vision. To do what's going to last for eternity. But I know this kind of spirit-led dedication will eventually not come to past and fade away, that's why I'm going to set some really down-to-earth steps to work towards the vision!

Faith
I always thought it is the fundamental behind our very belief in God. That's why I'm seeking out every single argument against the notion of God. I may not be able to find the answer to all questions but I believe every single question that I can answer will bring me closer to the Him.
Fear
Rearrange the letters and you'll get "faer". Leave out the r and you get something which stands for Faith. Really. Faith and fear are completely opposites. But when you combine the faith in God and the fear in Him, you get something that doesn't cancel out, but complements. Is it not because when God is the ultimate center of the equation, everything fits so perfectly? Think of it as yin and yang. Take a step out of my comfort zones and really fear God. Don't be selective in what I believe.
Vision
This probably came during the sermon itself. When God chooses to appear in the form of a revelation, will you go near it or take a step backwards? The vision is always there. Choose it! The rewards are there. Earn it!

By all these I will abide.
And I will follow after you.

2007-05-02T22:50:00.000+08:00

If there's something I've learnt from the new Spiderman 3 movie, it would be that it takes two hands to clap, two hearts to understand, and how pride may become a great obstacle in the way. Funny how the bad guys turned good so fast at the end of the movie. I didn't want it to end so fast! I waited 3 years for this! The scenes towards the end of the movie were disappointing. So many things happening concurrently, I felt that it's a bit rushed. Venom should have kicked more arse! Oops did I just spoil the show? =p

I guess if there's one thing I could have done better, it is to open my mouth and speak my heart out. There's so much in my mind, yet so little to tell. I don't want my pride to rule it all.

I foresee a boycott/rebellion/coup tmr morning, but we know nothing can be changed and nothing will be changed. I'm not standing on compassionate grounds for the sake of it. Sometimes it can hinder the way of progress too, and everything else just comes to a standstill.

God please help me survive tmr!

2007-04-27T20:50:00.000+08:00

The Lord is my shepherd;
I have all that I need.
He lets me rest in green meadows;
he leads me beside peaceful streams.
He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths,
bringing honor to his name.

2007-04-22T21:52:00.000+08:00

After yesterday's YL nite video slideshow, I just had this sudden urge that everything would stop right at its tracks, for us to hold on to that moment forever. The feeling of nostalgia swept me completely off my feet. If our life together is just simply a video, can we rewind it can play it back again? The reminiscence of it all..

I'm gonna stay eighteen forever (cut me open)
So we can stay like this forever (sun poisoned)
And we'll never miss a party (this offer...)
cause we keep them going constantly (...stands forever)
And we'll never have to listen (new haircut)
to anyone about anything (new bracelet)
cause it's all been done and its all been said (eyeliner)
we're the coolest kids and we take what we can get

Dude you need to move on.

2007-04-18T22:48:00.000+08:00

Last chance to train. Now let's see where 2 1/2 weeks of training has gotten me to. (Keep getting reminded of the times before Vertical Marathon. The tower was so tall before. After we conquered it, it just felt so pewny!) Let's hope a miracle will happen. Biathlon here I come!

2007-04-14T23:56:00.000+08:00

I missed Atlantis Recee =( that's tons of fun left out for me to enjoy, like the S**H**S** and stuff. (Confidential)

But I'm glad God gave me the freedom to choose between the two because He made me learn through the decision process =). Now I can safely say I didn't regret!

But I'm still demoralised over the fact that Biathlon is much more difficult than I had imagined. I thought, it's just swimming and running, and when you add those two together you get something tough but manageable. Today's trial really made me reconsider, considering that my swimming is really CMI. It's OPEN SEA swimming, no longer just some wade in the pool. There are currents and waves, plus the fact that its SEA WATER. Green and mirky and salty and sticky! I completely have no idea where I'm heading.. but thank God it's not Kallang water! Having said that, I really need to see where I'm going because I keep going off course. Maybe I'm just not made for the water.

I'm really amazed at how fast my sheep is growing. Even though it was just a small challenge, it was as though God worked a miracle here! I'm feel honoured for you by just hearing other people's praise for you.

To my shepherd, get really really well soon!

Last but not least, to the Pretty T whom will be missed during CG - see you next Sat! =)

2007-04-08T20:11:00.000+08:00

Doctor by Catie Curtis

Doctor I've got a problem with my imagination
I don't use it any more
I close my eyes and I try to see all the people living life in peace
When I close my eyes all I see is what's in front of me

Doctor I've got a problem with this consolation
I don't want it any more
In this candyland, the clutching hand always reaching
We take care of ourselves while the rest are weeping

Once upon a time there was a little baby
Bringing light to the world
As the story goes, and everyone knows a child messenger of peace
If not through us then through them, would you speak?

'Cause I got a problem with my imagination
I need you to help me see, see
Promise me.

I need the doctor. Maybe you need it too.

2007-04-08T17:52:00.000+08:00

Want you to know, you make me happy.
Want you to know, you make me sad.
Want you to know, you make me happy.
You are the best thing that I ever had.

x100

2007-04-01T22:02:00.000+08:00

This Easter, I don't want to forget what I came into this kingdom for. Faith as a foundation where everything else - qualities, virtues, morality - are built upon. Notice that faith is different from the faithfulness among the fruits of the spirit. It is through faith that all these things can be achieved. I came here because my life will be directed in only one direction, and this direction is made perfect in every circumstance. Distractions may come by once in a while, but with prudence, my ground is fortified.

Some people pray for things to change, for circumstances to work for their good. "Oh God please make the bus come earlier." , "...make the GP paper easy!!!" , "...bless us with plenty of harvest." They won't come. The GP paper won't change. The sky won't rain upon you and flood your neighbours. When we want change, we need to change for the better. The bus may come earlier this time round, the GP paper may seem easier, the harvest may come. But are we gonna be stuck in the same situation all the time? Pray for the change in our hearts, our ways of life, and for the qualities and virtues to be strong in us. Because we are vessels for these changes, and the kingdom cannot move on without us making the first step. Pray for patience and time management, so that the wait for the bus seems shorter. Pray for focus during the test, so that our minds can think clearly. Pray for courage, so that we will bring in the harvest!

That is the way of progress, of self and of mankind.

2007-03-26T22:27:00.000+08:00

After watching pursuit of happyness, I suddenly have inspiration to pen down some stuff.

I like the kid's jokes! haha.

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Nobody.
Nobody who?
.
..
...
....
Dao! =p

And particularly this one.

A man was drowning in the ocean and he prayed for God to save him.
A boat sailed past and the sailor asked if he needed help, but the man rejected, thinking that God will save him.
A second boat sailed past and similarly, the man rejected the kind sailor's offer.
In the end, he drowned and went to heaven!
There he asked God, "Why didn't you save me when I was drowning?".
And God answered, "I sent two boats to save you, @#$%^&^$*!!"

Kind of interesting how this joke actually foreshadowed the help the two chaps received from the home for the homeless. I think the director is brilliant too. In the first few scenes where Will Smith first stepped into the financial district, the smiles on each and everyone around him contrasted the sense of envyness he had. Yet when he first received his broker job, the smile on his face was exemplified by the weariness and sianness of the people around him. Heh. The character development is seriously good. Not to mention Will Smith's zai acting skills!

My butt and neck hurts after sitting through 2 movies. Stomp the Yard was cool but not enough to get me thinking. Yea. Thinking about happyness makes you wonder about tons of stuff. Like why Thomas Jefferson included the pursuit of happyness as a 'must-have' human right. Why? Why?

It means that when you're unhappy, you're doing yourself a disservice. You're depriving yourself the right to be happy! It's great to be joyful =).

2007-03-25T19:41:00.000+08:00

Vertical Marathon!

2007-03-24T00:18:00.001+08:00

pla9ue says (00:02):
hey
[[ 荟瑾 ]] - / hj `ares | WAX IT! 18 march 2006 says (00:03):
hey
pla9ue says (00:05):
hey
[[ 荟瑾 ]] - / hj `ares | WAX IT! 18 march 2006 says (00:05):
hey
pla9ue says (00:06):
hey
[[ 荟瑾 ]] - / hj `ares | WAX IT! 18 march 2006 says (00:08):
hey
pla9ue says (00:10):
hey
[[ 荟瑾 ]] - / hj `ares | WAX IT! 18 march 2006 says (00:12):
hey

A convo which goes on forever.

2007-03-23T23:55:00.001+08:00

Taking a break from Physics, which turning my head in circles.

I spent some time thinking back on what I've did for the past month. Fast, Cross country, V'day, CNY, Fast, YL precamps, Vertical Marathon, Fast, YL! Blocks. And its still blocks though, I'm just taking a break. What I miss most: YL and precamps! That's duh so I'll skip to the next in line - training for Vertical Marathon! I think that's the biggest accomplishment in my physical life so far. Even though the race is short, its like a whole new experience and reaching the top is like, Oh my God I reached the top! I missed training with a bunch of people who share the same common goal. Heh! I'm definitely gonna join Vertical Marathon '08 =)

Have the end in mind, I reminded myself and people around me. But some things have brought me to ponder about my future. Not the FAR future but the not-so-far future.

A's, Army ??? Happily-ever-after, KOG.

Life doesn't just happen like that. The true significance of my life is something probably only the future generations may know. What I do know is that with my life, I'm going to impact those times that we cannot see!

I don't believe in what I can't see, therefore I trust in Your plans. =)

2007-03-20T21:24:00.000+08:00

But you've already known, that you wouldn't be able to keep it that way. Why allow it to fall upon yourself when you could have avoided it? WHY?

I have only my guit and my God as company.

2007-03-18T17:19:00.000+08:00

1 year ago...

2007-03-09T23:00:00.000+08:00

I'm back. Not that this vacation hasn't done me any good, but I'm just so disconnected from the whole world lately, indulging in my homework, OAC, and neglecting other aspects of my life. I kept telling myself to be joyful, but the tiredness just sets in. Tired^99.

So I've decided to slow down. Be back myself. That makes life so much easier to live. No more zoning out, no more headaches, no more late nights.

I know YL is just around the corner, that I may screw up blocks, and maybe what I've done have all gone to waste. But one thing for sure, I'm not going to look back. I don't want to take strides which I can't handle too; I may end up losing my balance. I just want to stay put and still know that God is above. I will lean not on my own strength.

Well, at least I know that I've taken back more than what I've lost. That makes this vacation a pretty cheap investment after all =).

2007-01-28T17:40:00.000+08:00

OH '07! Logistics Comm / Group Instructors / Dogmatix GI! /

Had loads of fun with the future OAC juniors.. especially with Dogmatix! From the start I knew they had potential to become the Best Group! Exactly when their group strength maintained even while the other groups dwindled. That's already a sign of acceptance between each other. This year's OH definitely saw the GIs having a closer relationship with their groups! Although last year's turn out was better, the atmosphere was better in many aspects, I guess we made it up at last with the smiles on the juniors' faces =). There's so much more we can do, so much more to improve in. Let's make this Ezoac milestone an opportunity to reflect upon our true commitments. And I believe that the next milestone - YL - will be even a greater one!

The journey starts tomorrow!

2007-01-25T21:54:00.000+08:00

I'll be embarking on a 40 day long vacation away from the computer. Unless the situation really calls for it, I will not be touching my emails, blogs, mangas, for the whole of this vacation. Or unless, of course, I back out. This will really be a test of my faith and reliance on God! Starting next Monday... I will live my life as a testimony.

Hopefully Orientation Hike '07 will turn out fun! I really anticipate lots of happening stuff on these 2 days!

2007-01-23T22:14:00.000+08:00

Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone's here
Everyone's here
Everybody's watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next?
What happens next?

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
The tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here

2007-01-20T20:19:00.000+08:00

I'm blessed with a coconut and mee goreng! Though my batchmates have to suffice eating tuna with bread.. =p. The two weeks of recce at Ubin are finally over. Now that we are only left with one precamp and a QM day, and I can safely say we're very well on the way to a great OH next week! Just that there are so many, many, many things I've left undone =/.

Sometimes its possible to have the best of both worlds! Haha I proved someone wrong today. And nope it's not caus' of luck or whatever, but its pure faith! Yes, having the faith to walk through different commitments. It's possible dude.

2007-01-18T22:18:00.000+08:00

I'm proud to have survived so many rounds of intense stomach mangling tasks! Like downing 3 bananas and the cans of tonic. It works! It toned my abs man, having to cringe all the way home. And not forgetting Robert's 3 in one formula: flour, coffee powder, eno. It seeeriously melted my heart! Thank you CE2 for the wonderful birthday celebration, + Tifen and Munyung who endured the regimen with me. =)

Finding the right heart of worship has never been easy. It's not about the songs, nor is it about the right atmosphere. They're important I know, but it has always been a continuous process. How we live our life is an act of worship! Doing it for the love that prevails, I trust my creator =).

2007-01-17T21:52:00.000+08:00

I'm a happy man. I shopped for my own birthday cake, brought it home and to school, and was very eagerly awaiting my celebration! And Ezoac sang the birthday song for me! :):):)

-____________-

Anyways after the climax of the day, Ezoac had a successful Orientation Hike precamp! Dogmatix was quite alright, comprising a mix of people from everywhere. And I'm glad there're no super-active-hyper-enthu monkeys nor zibi guys! I must try to liven up the spirit a little, but I can tell that once they're warmed up and turbocharged, they'll go on to clinch the title of the best group! Must thank everyone for the job well done, especially my fellow GI Junhua! Rmb to prepare a list of leng xiao hua so we've less job to do!

Thank you 6E for the wonderful birthday cake and song! Its like the biggest cake i've eaten, even though its shared among 3 birthday babies. Must say that even though we've been through ups and downs (or is it just me), we're still an emerging class!

2007-01-14T12:43:00.000+08:00

“The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer.”

- Proverbs 15:28

I will find the answers to all these problems. Thanks for all the concern =)

2007-01-13T00:02:00.000+08:00

Orientation nite was one of the highlights of the week! It celebrated the very Hwachong traditions that we are so prone to forget. To get together not as faculties, but as junior and senior classes, with batches and batches of seniors and grandseniors and celebrate the start of school! (Btw I just noticed Apollo's flag hanging on the right wing and the rest of the 3 facs' flag on the left =/) I enjoyed the performance very much =)...

Sometimes I ask you why you place irritating people around me. I never retaliated. Never with words nor actions. But deep down inside I'm burning. Please learn to forgive them.

Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." - Luke 23:24

Then you gave me another reason to fret.

I asked to be a better CT rep yesterday, or rather the day before yesterday. I foresee the problems that will come our way, and the huge responsibilities that I will have to shoulder along the way. It never turned out any less troublesome than that. Nobody said not to expect any problems from any class. In fact any sane class will face problems along the way.

But before any miracles happen, I need some feedback. If you're from s6e, please tag and grade me on a scale of A to U on what I achieved as a CT rep.

What I predict: ~~A - B - C - D - E - S -~~ U

No I'm not being emo. I'm seriously wanting to change.

2007-01-04T20:39:00.000+08:00

Its happening again =(. No third time please. I must pull myself out of that situation.

2006-12-29T17:58:00.000+08:00

Have you ever been around happy people when you're sad? You would understand how rubbishy it feels as if the whole world is mocking at you. There are also times when we seem to be nonchalant towards the sorrow or joy of other people. But I don't want it to be either way, because peace does not come from being oblivious of the people around me, but from the joy and love of these people. Help me cherish every moment of company, every moment of fellowship, every time of sharing and reunion.

2 days to a brand new year. But I've already decided the next step.

I'm ready to commit these things into your hands Lord.

2006-12-28T20:53:00.000+08:00

"Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written."

- John 21:25

But there's one thing he did that everyone must remember - He died on the cross for our sins. That's what I learn from watching 'Passion of the Christ'. The blood of Christ is so real - that I'm oblivious to all the gruesome flogging and blood.

Thank God for a crazy CG today. Flogged by Yongsheng and Tifen arghhh! I'm not playing another game of pinch and whack anymore. It's gross, sadistic, unmerciful, and full of evil sabo + backstabbing. BAN IT. I think I started the snap jack trend hahahaa now everybody wants to play it. Good day to see so many new ppl! Eunice, Liping, Lilin, Tifen, Seokhui, Aaron, Munyung, WElcome =).

2006-12-25T21:01:00.000+08:00

Home alone on Christmas night, grooving to Norah Jones' jazzy album! What a pity there's no one here to enjoy with. No point being saddened by those miseries, because whatever they are, nothing can ever replace the joy of rejoicing in the truth. Alone but not lonely ;)

God loves us by giving us the power of choice, just as he has given Adam the choice of eating the apple from the tree of good and evil. That's why we're entitled to the freedom of paving our own journey and destiny. All the time we are given the chance to walk in His perfect will, even when we've fallen short of His glory. I'm happily walking down the path with Him as my guide and shepherd =)

Quit this false pretense dude.

2006-12-21T20:45:00.000+08:00

We all have to seek refuge somewhere. There's no one spared by life's problems. No one is perfect. Some of us believe in happy-go-luck, others in forging their own future as a guarantee. But neither is ever fool-proof. How much of your own life can you choose not to bother before you finally realise you've been living for nothing? And how far in the future can you put your hopes in before you're certain you can't grasp it? I choose to accept a faith that I believe will last for eternity; even at my death I'll see a future. Can your faith do that?

2006-12-15T16:06:00.000+08:00

What I learnt from camp: Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect. It just means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections. I want to be a happy guy. I want to see through God's perspective because He sees us as perfect children.

The PJ-HC OAC exchange didn't exactly end on the right note today, but I have faith it's gonna be a much greater day on Monday when we go biking! I don't like the taunting and the competitive spirit. But people please try to interact and make it less awkward!

I suddenly feel that everything that's happening was pieced together. Like some magical power working amidst us. Building the powerful testimony is difficult. But I have faith it's goin to be just what we want!

2006-12-11T00:10:00.000+08:00

Elite 4 <3

2006-12-09T23:50:00.000+08:00

The sermon today came just at the right moment. Practised what was preached and immediately I found it useful. No longer tired of rejections! Or being afraid of losing face, feeling discouraged. For what is done is for eternity and for Your glory.

Feels like the summit is not the end. Neither am I satisfied with my own performance along the Ophir trip. Just like we're sanctified potentially but not experientially. But still what was great is the top-of-the-world feeling that overwhelmed my senses. Looking down the mountaintop, embracing the passing clouds, and simply enjoying the sight of His brilliant creation.

2006-12-03T13:05:00.000+08:00

Give 6 guys a dice, a mattress, and 6 rolled up sleeping mats and they will give you hell out of a violent, sadistic self-mutilation game. Great idea for Holy Comm activities! Hehehe. Zzzzz slept too fast. Too bad no one heeded my call to drink Tongkat Ali ginseng coffee or they'll stay up the whole night like me. Movie marathon with American Pie and A Walk to Remember. Samuel was the only one awake for the latter =p.

Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Like you know.. somethings we just can't see them, but we can feel them. =)))

2006-11-30T20:08:00.000+08:00

I blew my nose with such great intensity and velocity that its starting to ache. Poor nose.

2006-11-25T23:53:00.000+08:00

Space Travel - Yellowcard

I heard a voice last night
It said wake up and open your eyes
Wake up, walk out tonight
Cause she don't care if you're dead or alive

She moves like beams of light
Straight through this universe in my head
Where I get peace of mind
I'm free from the stupid things that I said
She's all in my head

Did I get lost while I was gone?
I traveled space for much too long
But there's a planet that I have found
And you are far away for now

Somewhere behind her eyes
Some supernatural energy takes me for quite the ride
Across time where I defy gravity
Or this energy

Did I get lost while I was gone?
I traveled space for much too long
But there's a planet I have found
And you are gone away for now

What do we do now
We wait
For what
For her to come back
I don't think she's coming back
So
I'm sick of waiting

What would the sentence be if I could say it all at once?
What would the sentence be if I could say it all at once?

Did I get lost while I was gone?
I traveled space for much too...

Did I get lost while I was gone?
I traveled space for much too long
But there's a planet I have found
And you are far away
You are far away
You are far away for now

2006-11-25T22:00:00.000+08:00

Before I pick up my guit again and never stop I must try to finish this post.

My life has been pretty amazing. 2* kayaking ended in a weird fashion 'caus me and Aaron didn't have time to celebrate and zoomed off to Batam =(. But I like my tan =). And unlike many people I'm not peeling! Come to think of it we can do a lot of stuff and very little stuff now with 2*, still need power boats for us to cross channels to explore other parts of Singapore, quite sad though. But a lot of interesting skills learnt! Like Eskimo-bow rescue, hip flicks, edging and leaning, sculling draw. It was WORTH IT.

Batam wasn't exactly fun with only 5 ppl out of a whole squad of 21. Not exactly a good place to shop either. Not exactly a good place to have fun either. But I still enjoyed the company even though all we did was - eat, sleep, movie, car rides, shop. Indonesian Chinese are seriously RICH. They own lands, mega shopping malls, islands, and what not. And yeah we visited mega shopping malls which are mostly half empty, and a small offshore island belonging to Job's father's friend. Chilled and relaxing on the island, enjoying the company of 7 dogs, waded around the beach (100000 times better than Kallang water), and drank coconut freshly cut from the trees! Superbly fun that time. And we indulged in seafood 3 times cheaper than what you can find in Singapore. It wasn't a wasted trip after all, all you ponners had better regret.

Today's service was unlike the rest I've gone through. It's sososo much more spiritual for me. I've never connected with God like this before =). Very blessed to have caring people around. I appreciated the honey lemons and the smses.

And happy birthday Daniel! You're a great leader because I know u read my blog once in a while. The deco team did a great job today! I knew those spray cans would come in useful =p.

The ministry drive sets me thinking about how I should go about using my gifts to the fullest potential so I can be useful in His kingdom. I have this sudden calling to join the House Keeping Ministry. Serious. I want to start humbly.

2006-11-17T18:59:00.000+08:00

I feel so sick/feverish/giddy from all the lack of sleep during the marathon camps. And when I reached home, I immediately plonked onto my bed without a second thought for my smelliness. So much for sacrificing my sleep for the movies and chips from SJAB camp, now I have to bear the pains of not being able to go for the Church prayer meet..

ITC was fun! Though in some sense it's like a leisure camp and far from the horrors of YL haha. Not being sadistic though. All our preparations at last have been fruitful. From dragonboating, night trail, land ex, rockclimbing to some crazy batch bonding sessions and crazy floorball matches, all have been worth slogging for.

Although I quite agree with what Mou said about us being far from the true OAC spirit, I guess every batch must have their own unique blend of personality and specialness, as I've learnt from St Johns. What makes us ourselves is not what our tradition dictates but what we asks for ourselves! I guess being happy and satisfied is enough. We have walked a long journey and ITC just brought us a step further!

And bathing alone at the high school gym at 1pm is ... spooky =p

2006-11-09T21:07:00.000+08:00

Whenever I go home by dropping at the bus stop, I have two routes to choose from. One out in the open, and one dark alley which is really really dark since you can't see your legs, just a slight dim image of whatever that's in front. I will make it a point to walk the dark alley. Coz I know even in darkness I'm not alone, I have someone to walk me home. And I just love this feeling. Some people may say its a false sense of security but I prefer to call it HOPE.

2006-11-08T14:16:00.000+08:00

Monday:

Mahjong, movies, makan, sleep.

Tuesday:

Mahjong, movies, makan, sleep.

Wednesday:

Mahjong, movies, makan, sleep.

Those were the days when we were living with absolutely no purpose. Even when it's suppose to be a class bonding session, I think it turned out to be more of a no-life event. Some people sleep the entire day. But thankfully cooking was quite fun too! Even though I didn't really step into the kitchen but hey I washed the dishes.

We peeped into the Old Changi hospital. Was supposed to be scary at night due to the infamous ghosts and spirits from the Japanese occupation. But instead we hummed because it says no trespassing and no, I don't want to land in a boy's home! Other than that, the small little trek was quite cool! There is this colonial-styled building called the Turnhouse along the way and its way old and deserted. Hanged with ancient lanterns somemore. We found an opened gate and I tried to recce, but again, we hummed when we found ourselves staring at a swing. (I'm pretty sure I see the swing moving) Changi beach is way cool I wanna come back soon and continue on these adventures!

I'm beginning to fear something that would dampen the class spirit, and I'm praying it won't ever happen like another class in school did.

P.S I've finally broke free of the torture of those ugly metals!

2006-11-05T20:57:00.000+08:00

What does it take to 'blow it up'? What does it take to ignite the evil pursuits of the heart? If I am to allow my heart be tainted and deceited by darkness, I would rather become a heartless soul, you know.. like a hollow. (I can't imagine myself with a hole in the middle). But God promised me more than that. He brought me companionship through friends. He renewed my purpose. And I'm more than happy to be in these fellowships. =)

Purity before Him and for everyone around me.

Seems like the sea activities are on the right track. I believe the little walk in the morning along the coast of kallang river made it a little more pleasant. But still, as long as there is anything left unsettled I can't rest my mind.

Off I go for class chalet for 3 days! Supersized bungalow with 3 bedrooms, living room + kitchen. We're going for vacation even before PW has ended.

And today is 5th November! Remember, remember, the 5th of November!

2006-11-03T23:39:00.000+08:00

I just sold my PS2 for a measly 50 bucks. 50 BUCKS can you imagine the subnormal profits I'm earning!? But I'm so broke for now 50 bucks seem such a huge sum. But since its a friend I'm selling to I should try to be kind =p. Online auctions are super enthralling. Shall auction off all my cds, shoes, books!

ITC prep is giving me headaches. Why didn't we book earlier and save all the trouble of calling up all the PA sea sports clubs just to find out they are all fully booked.. Now I'm stuck on choosing between windsurfing and dragonboating. Oh god please make this an easy one. We've all learnt our mistakes.

I finally understood why You took this away from me. I've been steering on the wrong course all the time. It is only when I see the big picture that I realise how foolish I've been. Dryness in relationships is really, really hard to bear with!

'Cause I know You'll provide.

2006-11-02T23:21:00.000+08:00

It has been a long wait since my last post. Hai. My poor blog! I promise I will never abandon you again. Actually I didn't really abandon. I just keep finding excuses, feeling lazy. I'm feeling full too, from all the food I've eaten and all the worries I've taken in and never let out. Sometimes its not as easy as vomiting, regurgitating.

To believe, to trust, to have faith. Can someone tell me the difference? I know there is and I know what it is but I can't put it into words.

Let this be a new change, a new start, a new blogskin! No more obscene photos that show some guys holding balls in front of their chest. No more insult to the Ezoac shirt.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

There's no way I will say gg. =)

2006-10-18T21:03:00.000+08:00

owww.. my ankle. =(

2006-10-12T23:24:00.000+08:00

I never had to taste the feeling of getting U before, so everything was just so disappointing for me. I guess its right to say that you will never understand the feeling of being at the bottom if you're always at the top. Not always though but that's not the point.

Sometimes I wonder whether you planted these people around me so that I can learn to appreciate them better. When it seems that they may be leaving you, the moment of despair just rushes into your mind. They seem so near, yet the next moment they may be so far away, unreachable. I wish I could do more than just doing nothing. I wish there's still a small slip of chance and hope that things may turn for the better. But all I can do now is to pray. Pray that God will perform some miracle in these people whom I treasure so much and love so much. Jehovah Jirah, I believe. Lord I need that assurance from you that they will come to know you and realise that there's so much more to hope for than this. Even if the truth seems to be the inevitable, will you prove them wrong?

I'm sorry I cried.

FOS

2006-10-07T00:45:00.000+08:00

A lot of things happened. Good things, bad things. Funny stuff, sad stuff. But nevertheless I never fail to experience the warmth and heart-throbbing moments with 6E. Through this 3 days of FOS, I can really see the joy and fun in the games we play for. I've grown out of my competitive spirit, let go of my pride and self-esteem, and just play with all my heart into these games. Basketball, frisbee, floorball, table-tennis, indoor rowing, and even the least of all - a soccer walkover. I was really putting high hopes on floorball and indoor rowing, but despite the results, I'm really proud to say that I'm from 6E, from Athena, and from the kingdom of God, for he provided these miracles and moments in my life that I know I will take away as learning lessons. And something funny really happened! I was supporting 76's class for indoor rowing and saw a figure who vaguely resembles huiying in ares fac tee on the rowing machine. So i kept shouting her name and cheering for her for 1+ min before she turned around. And i got the biggest shock of my life.

weekend

2006-09-29T21:17:00.000+08:00

i always look forward to the weekend. Friday - manga release day. Tons of naruto/bleach/wadeva *** that comes out of them. It has become such a habit that if they don't release in time i will crawl the whole web just to find them. Saturday means tons of worship n praise! nvr in my life will i find saturdays refreshing and worth slogging for. not even those days of sadistic sjab goodness. i usually look forward to my guitar lessons.. but since its ending tmr and that means i dun get to see my teacher again but that means i will have more time to attend pyramids! Sunday.. the day i wish will never end so that monday nvr comes.. but why do we have to feel this way when we can look forward to the next weekend? I'm not making any sense. God knows.

3 years 6 months

2006-09-24T20:14:00.000+08:00

Sew this up with threads of reason and regret
So I will not forget. I will not forget
How this felt three years six months ago
I know I cannot forget. I cannot forget

I'm falling into memories of you,and things we used to do
Follow me there
A beautiful somewhere
A place that I can share with you

I can tell that you don't know me anymore
It's easy to forget, sometimes we just forget
And being on this road is anything but sure
Maybe we'll forget, I hope we don't forget

I'm falling into memories of you,and things we used to do
Follow me there
A beautiful somewhere
A place that I can share with you

So many nights, legs tangled tight
Wrap me up in a dream with you
Close up these eyes, try not to cry
All that I've got to pull me through is memories of you
Memories of you
Memories of you
Memories of you

2006-09-16T21:45:00.000+08:00

I didn't really enjoy Hope 15th anniversary. But happy birthday anyways. And happy birthday Shepherd! U will wear the Billabong bikini if we bought it for you rite? U said so! Hope your new crumpler bag makes u cool and steady always. I must catch on this baggy fad too! *Hints*. Gettin ready to dump my lousy Bodyglove bag for others. But nothing else can replace my Bodyglove wallet which I sadly lost. Not even Pierre Cardin.

Talking about losing stuff.. happen to lose my Sim card at Adam Road Food Centre. Not totally lose but just for 15 minutes. Sorry for making the whole bench and all the nosy aunties and uncles go on a fruitless search and return mission for my Sim card. Found it in my bag instead =p.

Sickening cough. I'm so sick sick sick of it. Maybe because I wanted more. I'm prepared to wait and wait and wait and instead it went downhill and. No I'm being nonsensical. Keep cool. Chill. Coz God noes I have this weakness, hence he presented me with this challenge. If this is just one stumbling block, what has yet to come? I'm sure God will heal this sickening cough.

Nothing in this world can stop me now nor hold me down.

Chipmunk

2006-09-13T21:36:00.000+08:00

Chipmunk is the common name for any small squirrel-like rodent species of the genus Tamias in the family Sciuridae. About 23 species fall under this title, with one species in northeastern Asia, one in the eastern portions of Canada and the US, and the rest native to the western part of North America.

Though they are commonly depicted with their paws up to the mouth, eating peanuts, or more famously their cheeks bulging out on either side, chipmunks eat a much more diverse range of foods than just nuts.

If unmolested they often become bold enough to accept food from the hands of humans. The temptation to pick up or pet any wild animal should be strictly avoided. While rabies is exceptionally rare, if not non-existent, in rodents, chipmunk bites can transmit virulent and dangerous bacterial infections.

Giggles, one of the characters in the Flash cartoon "Happy Tree Friends" is a pink chipmunk (For the cast consists of colourful forest animals.)

Hamsters

2006-09-12T23:15:00.000+08:00

A hamster is a rodent belonging to subfamily Cricetinae. The subfamily contains about 18 species, classified in six or seven genera. Most have expandable cheek pouches, which reach from their cheeks to their shoulders. Because they are easy to keep and breed in captivity, hamsters are often used as lab animals =( and pets.

It might be noted that many hamsters tend to carry away food from their food source (by carrying it in their cheek pouches) and hoard it away in a cache hidden somewhere inside their container.

September Hols

2006-09-10T19:18:00.000+08:00

The whole september hols was spent with my dearest CG mates! 7 days have gone by yet I'm still not tired of seeing them =). Study study mug mug. Life's become pretty meaningless until You came into my world. Suddenly the urge to mug is growing inside me. But I hate staying at home coz its super unproductive. Morning I'll stay glued to my com. Halfway I'll file up my stuff and moment I finished dling Bleach, went back glued to the com. Afternoon a long drizzle came by and worse still the bed is right behind me. I would bring my notes to my bed and study. And doze. One whole day and the pile of physics notes is still not done. urgh. :(

Just remembered tomorrow is a special day. 911 5 years on.
Reminds me of the history trip to US last year. How impactful it is in my heart. I managed to capture many sad but memorable moments of ground zero.

The message above was scribbled on some wall surrounding the zone. "The road may be uphill and strewn with stones, so get rid of the weight and lighten the load. AT the summit there is a beautiful view, all of God's peace open to you." So inspiring and refreshing and promising!

Sometimes when we take the wrong road, life is so much harder and difficult.
Sometimes we just need the assurance and a little blind faith to continue our short journey in life. All the obstacles are nothing compared to His power.

God never fails to brighten my day =)

2006-09-06T23:38:00.000+08:00

I can feel the holy spirit within me. Empowerment. Empowerment. Empowerment. Empowerment. All I need is the confidence to show it. Lord bless me with the courage! Hopefully I won't wake up tmr morning just to find it all gone. I know God won't play tricks on me.. I'm grateful to everyone in the cg whose presence gave me reassurance, especially my Sherpherd! Sounds amazing but thanks for being there to encourage me ya? =p.

Metamorphosis concert was the highest point in my entire life so far. At least not compared to YLTC but I'm expecting more to come, especially the december camp. Non stop jumping action! As I praised God, I imagined myself standing too on the stage. Its like there's this calling inside me to be wanting to be there!

Proverbs 3:26

"for the LORD will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being snared."

2006-09-05T23:31:00.000+08:00

Unhappy things aside. Tmr's Metamorphosis! I hope something will happen during my first Holy Spirit Baptism. In fact I YEARN for something to happen! Yep I have to want it in order for something to happen. But somethings do happen really randomly, I guess I just have to work on it, keep thinking it will happen, then that something will happen.=)

curiousity killed the cat

2006-09-05T21:53:00.000+08:00

Stairway to Heaven is super scary. Been playing it all along since ages ago yet I've never realised the true story behind this song.. I'm not super affected by it, and I don't ever want to be affected by it. But it makes me wonder why the strong resemblence of the reversed song to those satanic verses? Arghh curiousity killed the cat. Don't think about it. Don't think about it. Don't think about it. Don't think about it. Don't think about it. Believe that God will purify all things. He will provide. If anyone feels tempted to check it out after reading this please don't because it is not worth it.

2006-08-31T21:05:00.000+08:00

I didn't realise I was so stressed until I exploded today. Its so unlike me but after that evrything became so smooth. Before that I was yanking at evry minor detail, sorry evryone who have to put up with that. Thanx yik for flashing me and making me explode. Its all yeqing's fault she didn't want to see hahhaaaa. .. .. .. For evryone who put in the effort to do up something for the teachers, a big thank you! I must really make sure they all receive something from us coz of last year's bad experience, which really taught me a BIG lesson.

Really glad to see at least half of 4A in some way or another. Wonder if we're able to keep this spirit alive! Only time will tell..

To Ronald Ang who deserted us to some faraway land, find someday go jam la =).

Statement

2006-08-27T09:52:00.000+08:00

I must really start work on promos le. 4 weeks, 28 days. Divide into 4 and thats 1 week for each subject. Good luck to everyone taking promos, to the J2s who have prelims next week, to my friends who have their birthdays in the middle of promos! rest assured you are not forgotten, because I've already done the worst for forgetting my good buddy's..

To him: Thx for always being there to encourage me and giving me insights.

To you: If you're ever caught in the mindset that you can't pass promos, its already a losing battle for you. So stay vigilant and focused in your dreams!

To everyone: Nothing is impossible in God's eyes. Put your faith in him!

动力火车

寂寞是临睡的习惯
习惯是一个人守着
冰冷的床和烟灰缸
没有你的孤单
想你在这样的夜晚
打开窗吹着冷风
故意把灯关上
试着想像你笑的模样

不懂我的爱在你生命中
占据多少份量
让你哭泣却是我心深处最痛的伤
最残酷的惩罚

i will never try to break your heart
我不愿这样
让爱情不由自主
陷入一场
两败俱伤的战
i will never try to break your heart
我真的不想
再面对没有你的寂寞夜晚
烟雾迷茫的孤单

Damn nice this song. Shall try to master it on the guit.

2006-08-23T22:52:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry I took so long to realise your need. Lord, tell me if we are waiting for one another. Tell me how long this ordeal will last. Or am I thinking too much? I need to take a chill pill.

Its hard to be a mediator, especially when its between someone you trust and people you love.

Bike Hike

2006-08-20T19:51:00.000+08:00

Went recce for the coming overnight bike hike on 2-3 september organised by Alex. I'm super amazed by the stamina of the girls, instead I was whining throughout the journey I think. Maybe that's the way I motivate myself. Cycled from East Coast to Esplanade, to Tiong Bahru CC, then to Esplanade -.-", then to Railway Station Coffeeshop, then to Tiong Bahru CC again -.-"". Well thats the 20km route for the actual event. After that we chionged all the way from the CC through Chinatown to Bugis - Lavender and reached Eunos at around 3pm. Didn't think we could make it to Changi Village by 6, but we did in the end! If you think the road there is arduous enough, wait till u experience the airport runway path. Imagine when your legs can't pedal you any further, and cycling 20 mins along a stretch of flat road where the road never ends. Alex expected some freaking fierce dogs to surface at lamp post 75, but in the end it didn't.

I'm so glad I'm able to pull through this =) Lord gave me uphills to conquer and downhills to enjoy. He gave me the renewal of strength when I'm falling behind, and the motivation to piaaaa. At the end, he blessed us with a superb sunrise along the rocky east coast, and a wonderful sea breeze that blew us to sleep. Tired there but not tired here!

Isaiah 40:31

"but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."